


Maybe Someday

by Elphabuddy



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, School Dance, Self Confidence Issues, confidence building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elphabuddy/pseuds/Elphabuddy
Summary: “Karen tucks the hair falling across Gretchen’s cheek behind her ear. She grins at her with her perfect teeth, showing off her perfect smile, her perfect eyes twinkling. Everything about her is so perfect it aches.Gretchen hates how she could never compete with someone like Karen. She hates that she’s even playing this game. Karen is her friend. She shouldn’t feel the need to compare herself to her.“You should be Spring Fling Queen,” Karen whispers.”
Relationships: Karen Smith/Gretchen Wieners
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27
Collections: 2020 AW Gift Exchange





	Maybe Someday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glutenfreerye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glutenfreerye/gifts).



> Hey there, Riley! I was given you as my person for the gift exchange. It was my pleasure to write this for you. I hope you enjoy and I wish you the happiest of holidays. <3

Gretchen is scrolling through Instagram, the backs of her eyelids still buzzing with flashes of yellow whenever she closes them. It’s been a little more than a week and she knows that Regina is probably going to be alright but she can’t stop the what ifs racing through her mind.

A message pops up at the top of her screen. She cringes, noticing the time. 4:13.

And Karen knows she’s up somehow.

Fantastic.

Sweetie: ! *up arrow emoji* ?!?

huny: Could ask you the same. How did you even know I was up?

Sweetie: *camera emoji* *heart emoji*

Duh. She liked Karen’s most recent selfie. Of course she knows she’s up.

huny: Oh yeah. Sorry if that woke you up or whatever.

Sweetie: *red check emoji*

*two girls emoji* *clock emoji*

Gretchen hops over to facetime and calls her. Karen is laying down in her bed, curled up and sideways, illuminated by the bubblegum pink fairy lights strung around her room.

Karen frowns the moment she sees her. “You aren’t even trying to sleep.”

“I gave up hours ago,” Gretchen answers.

“Do you need company?” Karen asks. Gretchen sighs. She doesn’t know what she needs. Company? Regina to recover already? For things to go back to normal? It’s all a loss to her. “Earth to Gretchen?”

“Hm?”

“You looked really far in your own little world and that’s not good when you’re this tired. Can I come over?” Karen’s voice is soft with concern.

“You can if you’re ok with sneaking in my window,” Gretchen replies.

Karen grins and sits up fast. “I’ll be there so fast you won’t notice I’m gone.” She hangs up. Gretchen bites back the giggle begging to escape.

True to her word, Karen gets there fast. Faster than Gretchen thought possible. Especially for someone without a car.

Karen is gasping for air when she knocks on her window. Gretchen opens it for her. “Did you run the whole way?” she snickers quietly.

“Yeah,” Karen says at regular volume. Gretchen presses a finger to her lips. “Oh yeah. Yes,” she whispers.

Gretchen closes the window while Karen takes off her shoes and flops down in Gretchen’s bed. She lays next to her, leaving a safe distance between each other.

Karen tucks the hair falling across Gretchen’s cheek behind her ear. She grins at her with her perfect teeth, showing off her perfect smile, her perfect eyes twinkling. Everything about her is so perfect it aches.

Gretchen hates how she could never compete with someone like Karen. She hates that she’s even playing this game. Karen is her friend. She shouldn’t feel the need to compare herself to her.

“You should be Spring Fling Queen,” Karen whispers, yanking her from her thoughts.

“What?”

“You should win Spring Fling Queen.”

Gretchen’s cheeks burn, her gut twists anxiously. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m not joking. I’m gonna vote for you.”

Gretchen searches for a response but she’s struggling to find something honest that isn’t an accusation of her lying. She knows Karen can’t lie to her and it sounds so genuine that it’s hard for her to not believe that Karen thinks that.

She tucks her arm under her head, staring back at her. “And you’ll have my vote,” she whispers.

Karen giggles. She scoots closer, close enough that Gretchen can feel her body heat oozing into her space despite the fact that they aren’t touching. “Would it be weird if I wanted to cuddle with you?” Karen asks.

“Just about as weird as me wanting to cuddle with you too,” Gretchen admits.

Karen holds her arms open. “I could be your big spoon if you’d like.”

Gretchen turns around and inches back until she’s pressed firmly against Karen. Karen slides her arm around her waist, holding her tight, and curls her body around Gretchen.

And, damn, this is the most wondrous kind of anxiety that Gretchen has experienced. Anxious because she knows that friends don’t make friends hearts stutter like this but wonderful because she feels protected for once in her life.

Protected enough that her eyes can finally drift shut. She slowly approaches sleep. She won’t get much but it will be something.

Her body feels like it’s floating, just on the edge of slipping over but she’s pretty sure it isn’t a dream when she hears Karen’s voice again. “Are you still awake?”

Gretchen doesn’t respond, too afraid of losing her progress. Karen waits a moment. She starts whispering again.

“Ok, so, I don’t know if this will work but I figure that it’s worth a try to slip it into your subcontinental mind because I need you to believe what I believe. You’re the prettiest person I know. You’re smart and kind and understanding. I don’t know what you see in me but whatever it is, I hope it stays worth it because you’re brilliant and I don’t know what I’d do without you. You deserve to think of yourself as highly as you should. You are Gretchen and that the best thing you could ever be. I hope you sleep well cuz you need it.”

Gretchen bites her lip hard to keep herself from reacting. Karen tugs her even closer and tucks her face down, covering her eyes with her shoulder. Gretchen rests her hand on the wrist that Karen has wrapped around her waist.

A sharp breath is inhaled behind her. Karen grabs her hand and locks their fingers together. “It’s ok that you’re pretending to be asleep. I won’t make you say anything. I’m glad you heard that. I want you to know that as a fact someday.”

“Maybe someday,” Gretchen whispers.

“Maybe someday,” Karen echoes wistfully.

***

Cady wins.

Gretchen isn’t bitter. It barely stings when her name isn’t called. She knew that her winning Spring Fling Queen was a long shot.

After all, this is based mostly on beauty. She shouldn’t have made it this far if she’s being honest with herself.

Plus, she’s proud of her friend, proud of her reaction to winning. Ever graceful and poised, even in her mathletes uniform rather than a dress. She is more humble about it that Gretchen would have been, that’s for sure.

Gretchen holds her head high as she walks off the stage. She congratulates Cady on everything she’s done in such a short amount of time, giving her a tight hug. Karen and Regina follow her lead, doing the same.

They talk for a while until Cady’s parents track her down and make her go home since she’s still grounded. Regina’s meds wear off enough for her to want to go home too so they stay with Regina while Sabrina comes back to bring her home.

Sabrina comes in and finds their table. She hands her daughter medicine, which Regina takes with only mildly spiked punch before teetering away with her mother.

Karen sits next to her, singing along loudly to party anthems that shake the gym floor. After a few fast songs play through, a calm one comes on.

Karen stops in her tracks. She quirks her head to the side before looking to Gretchen. She slides her hand palm up across the table. “Might I have this dance?”

Gretchen’s cheeks heat up. “Isn’t this song a bit slow for us?”

“Is it too slow for you?”

“No.”

“Then it’s not too slow.”

Gretchen accepts the outstretched hand, allowing her to guide her out on the dance floor. She rests her free hand on Karen’s shoulder. Karen places her other hand on Gretchen’s side, just under her ribs.

They sway to the music silently. Karen’s hand drifts to Gretchen’s hip. Gretchen isn’t sure whether it’s an intentional thing or it’s just sliding down due to the silky texture of her dress and gravity but she doesn’t break their silence to find out.

Irregardless, it’s making her heart thump painfully against her chest, almost as if it’s trying to break free, almost as if it wants to be closer to Karen.

The territory she so desperately wants to step into is dangerous but she can’t stop the hope that Karen feels the same way she does from thundering in her brain, drowning out the constant nervous buzz that she’s become accustomed to.

“What?” Karen asks, booping her nose playfully before returning her hand to her hip.

“What?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“I’m considering something.”

“What kind of something?”

“Something like this.” Gretchen knows her voice shakes. She knows Karen will get almost certainly why. She knows, she knows, she knows. She does it anyways.

She steps forward, their bodies flush together. She slides her arms around Karen torso, resting her head against her shoulder. Karen places her arms around Gretchen’s neck, clasping her hands behind Gretchen’s head. 

They keep shifting from foot to foot. Karen takes a deep breath. Her arms scoot a little tighter around, grasping at her elbows to lock her in close. Not suffocatingly so. Just secure.

“You know I didn’t think it was possible for you to get prettier and yet you did. That blue is perfect on you. Or for you. Whatever works better,” Karen says.

Gretchen sighs against Karen’s collarbone. “You don’t have to do this. I’m ok.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know I’m not… I know that my nomination was a joke. I don’t fit in with girls like Regina or Cady and definitely not with girls like you.”

Karen pauses. Gretchen can practically hear the gears grinding in her head. “Because you’re brunette?” Karen’s befuddlement is pure, innocent even, like she’s never so much as considered this.

Gretchen was not expecting her response and laughs softly. “You know what I mean. I’m not pretty like any of you.”

“But you’re gorgeous,” Karen replies slowly, confusion twisting to agitation.

“It’s ok.”

“I wish you didn’t talk about my favorite person like that.”

Gretchen freezes, her breath catching in her throat. She hopes Karen doesn’t say anything about it since she’s certain she notices. Please, let it slide.

Seconds ooze by like molasses, sludgy and slow while neither dare move. They forget about the people surrounding them. It’s just them, warm with each other’s body heat as gentle ditties play in the background.

And, shit, it does not feel like normal friendship when Karen nudges her head closer. She thinks she feels lips brush against her temple but she can’t be sure.

Her heart pounds even harder. She shifts her head slightly, trying to calm down a little but the sound of her heartbeat grows distant.

It’s not her heart banging in her ear drums. It’s Karen’s. Is she really this nervous too?

Karen mumbles something mildly slurred and buried by the music and other people speaking around them. Gretchen is nearly certain she heard her say that she loves her though.

She wants to ask if that’s really what just happened. She should ask, right? Should she ask? What if she’s wrong? What if she’s right? What if Karen’s just tipsy? What if it’s just friendly love? What if?

Gretchen knows that this has to be addressed but they’re still at Northshore. She can’t ask her anything that she needs to. Not without drawing a target on their backs.

The music changes to something upbeat, the bass vibrating beneath their static feet. Karen loosens her grip, glancing down to meet Gretchen’s eyes. “Do you wanna go?”

“Do you?”

Karen nods. “Wanna get some Taco Bell?”

***

They go through the drive-thru, opting to drive a few minutes longer to Lake Michigan instead of the restaurant. Gretchen focuses on bouncy pop playing through her car speakers to keep herself from panicking on the drive there, her knuckles pale from gripping the wheel as tightly as she has. She pulls into a parking lot that Karen points out and parks her car near the sand.

And it was a good ride. It was good to feel happy before everything changes. It was good to feel normal one last time. She sits quietly, staring out the windshield at the lake in front of them.

Karen grabs her door handle, glancing at Gretchen, almost as if she’s asking permission to open it. “Can we eat outside?”

“Yes we can.”

Karen kicks off her heels and grabs the food. She takes it out with her, stumbling towards the lake while Gretchen shuts the car off. Gretchen goes to her trunk and grabs one of the blankets she keeps there for emergencies.

Can she do this? Can she really do this and handle the outcome no matter what it may be?

Gretchen steels herself and follows Karen out on the sand, laying the blanket on the ground. Karen sits on it, laying her legs out straight. She passes her her food. They eat slowly, neither feeling a need to talk despite how much they do need to talk. Not when the moon is so bright and the water is so calm.

Karen finishes her burrito and crumples the wrapper. “Wanna see something cool?”

“Go for it.”

Karen aims for a garbage can near them and shoots. She misses by at least 2 feet. “Shit.” She hops up and runs to pick up after herself.

Gretchen giggles at the shambling, tipsy jog after her trash. She loves her so much. Damn, this is going to suck if she doesn’t love her back.

Karen returns, plopping down next to her, grinning widely. At least, she was grinning before catching her eyes. The lighthearted moment fades too soon for comfort. “Are we going to pretend that tonight didn’t happen or are we going to talk about it?” she asks.

Gretchen wants to talk so desperately it hurts. She wants to ask if she feels the same way, if she views her as more than a friend, if her heart was beating like that for her, if she actually kissed her and told her that she loves her. She wants to know if she could be genuinely loved.

She wants to know, she needs to, but it would hurt worse to hear a no and she knows that too.

Gretchen finally answers when Karen taps her knee to bring her back to reality. She lays back on the blanket, careful to keep her hair away from the sand, groaning quietly to herself. She turns on her side to face Karen while resting her head on her hand, propping it up with her elbow. “I’d prefer to pretend everything is normal but I know we need to deal with this. Whatever’s going on needs to be discussed before things get out of hand.”

Karen nods slowly before settling in, mirroring Gretchen while facing her. They stare out at the lake, placid waves ebbing away from them. She needs to get the words out. She needs to end the silence but the heavy fear in her throat chokes out anything she wants to say.

“What if I’m afraid that my feelings are already out of hand?” Karen asks.

“What kind of feelings?” Gretchen breathes.

“Good ones. Things just make sense with you and things never make sense. I think I like you like Regina likes Janis.”

“But she hates her.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

Gretchen sighs fondly, scooting closer to her. “Let me guess. Rule of twos?”

“Exactly.” Karen’s lips twitch up. “You know how Regina refuses to be seen as scared?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“She shoved Janis away because she’s scared of how she feels but I don’t mind being scared. It’s sort of like being confused. Or it’s a part of it. Whatever, I’m used to feeling scared. Is this making sense?”

“Sort of. Go on.”

“Ok, so, being near you like this makes me feel like I’m at the very top of a rollercoaster and I get the chance to look out at the world from something super tall before it yanks me away and swallows me whole and I want to be full of this feeling, you know?”

“I think so... Which makes it easier to say what I’m going to say next if I am getting you right. I think I’m in love with you. I know I love you but this feels so different than what I’ve ever felt for anyone else.”

Karen readjusts her head on her head. She stares at her, puzzle pieces clicking into place behind her eyes. “What does this mean for us? What does this make us?” she asks.

Gretchen puts her free hand in the space between them and Karen lays her hand on the back of it, lacing their fingers together. Gretchen kisses the tip of Karen’s nose. “It means we don’t have to be scared and alone anymore. If that’s what you want, I mean.”

Karen giggles, light and twinkling like the stars above them. “Of course I do, silly,” Karen murmurs, pressing her lips against Gretchen’s.

She pulls her hand away to cradle Gretchen’s neck as she kisses her. Gretchen’s hand rests on the small of Karen’s back, holding her close to her. 

It feels like a first breath and it feels like lungs burning underwater. Like being reunited with a long-lost friend and losing everything you thought you knew. Like sticking a bobby pin in an outlet and enjoying the lingering taste of lightening and survival.

The cool breeze gracing their bare skin doesn’t touch them. Not when they have each other to stay warm.

Karen pulls away, blinking slowly like she can barely believe what just happened. “You’re so beautiful.”

Gretchen laughs, surging forward again. She’s certain that she’s in love now.

***

It’s Wednesday. The first Wednesday of senior year. It doesn’t even occur to Gretchen that she hasn’t put on anything pink until she’s in her car, buckling her seatbelt.

She debates changing, glancing at herself in her rearview mirror. She doesn’t see fear for once. She sees a kind a boldness in her eyes that she hasn’t seen reflected since she was young.

She likes her outfit. She isn’t changing a single thing.

She sticks her keys in the ignition, mildly shocked at how steady her hands are for how nervous she usually would be. She drives to school without a second thought.

Karen is waiting for her outside near the door like a puppy waiting for their human to come home. The only pink that she’s wearing is in the pendant of her necklace so it would seem that Gretchen isn’t the only one that got comfortable with the past few months having no need to follow a list of rules to earn a spot at their table.

Gretchen nudges Karen’s arm with her elbow as she walks in. Karen walks beside her. “You know it’s Wednesday,” she teases.

Karen looks her up and down before unclipping her necklace and slips it in her backpack. She smiles like this is the easiest decision she’s ever made. “There. Ready.”

Gretchen can’t stop the giggle that bubbles out of her. It’s in relief and appreciation but mostly it’s in true and deep love for her girlfriend. She did that for her without a second thought. 

Karen boops her nose. “You’re precious. And so pretty! I love that shirt on you!”

“Thank you. You look lovely too,” Gretchen murmurs.

Her face burns but she chuckles it off. They’re in public and she can’t kiss her silly for that no matter how badly she wants to.

She stops at her locker and opens it. She glances around the door at Karen, unable to resist. She is just so confident and radiant and filled with pure light. She can't stop herself from spilling the words that need to fall past her lips. “I love you so much, sweetie.”

Karen grins but it quickly melts off her face. Gretchen doesn’t have to look behind her to know what’s going on.

“Good morning, Regina!” she says, forcing pep in her voice and straightening her spine.

“Morning,” Regina deadpans.

Is she not going to say anything? Could she have yet to notice? Does she not care?

“We’re still having lunch together, yeah?” Gretchen asks.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Regina asks incredulously.

“It’s Wednesday.”

Regina looks her over and then Karen. She shrugs stiffly. “Eh. Those rules were stupid. Honestly, I struggled to keep up with all of them and I’m the one that made them. Must have sucked to be you guys,” she says casually.

“That was… Mature,” Gretchen says slowly.

“You say that like you’re shocked,” Regina scoffs.

“Only a little,” Gretchen admits.

Regina’s face softens. “Look, we got into this mess because we held to those rules so forcefully that we’d kick each other out of our group for disobeying one once. I was terrible. I’d like to try to be better now.”

“It seems like therapy helping you deal with your control issues,” Karen says matter-of-factly.

Regina’s eyes bug out. She gestures her hand lower, signaling to keep it down. “Jesus, wanna say that louder?” she hisses.

“Not particularly,” Karen replies.

“That was rhetorical.”

“Oh.”

Regina shuts her eyes tight, pinching the bridge of her nose, and sighs. She places a hand on both of their arms. She seems calmer than the prior moment. “I want to have lunch with the two of you if you’ll still sit with me.”

“Cool.” Karen bobs her head. “Because I want to too.”

“Same,” Gretchen says

“And you look good today,” Regina says, looking directly at Gretchen. She glances at Karen. “You both do. You look fetch.”

It sounds like it killed Regina to say that unironically but Gretchen will take whatever crumbs she can. She squeezes Regina’s bicep gently. “You look fetch too.”

Regina’s lips twitch up bashfully. She genuinely looks as if she sees being called that as a compliment despite hating the word with a passion. “Thanks, Gretch.”

***

Gretchen moves out to New York directly after graduating and, much to her surprise, Karen continues to follow her.

Well, it wasn’t so much surprising that she followed since that had been discussed for months as most options had been discussed, including multiple different plans for if they became long distance. The part that shocked her was how she was so quick to agree to uproot her life to stay near her.

After Karen finally admitted to having no clue where to go past Northshore if, and Karen stressed her *if*, she graduated, Gretchen offered to bring her along. Karen simply nodded at the idea and asked when she needed to be completely packed by for it to work out right.

They apartment-hunted the month after both of them graduated together and found one that worked out for both of them, spending the rest of their time in Illinois mapping out the layout.

The drive is long but neither mind. Not when they’re alongside each other and playing Hozier, singing at the tops of their lungs. It’s a new beginning, a new life, and they’re excited to start it with the person they love most.

Karen offers to unload the trailer while Gretchen unpacks inside and Gretchen is fast to agree. They get a good rhythm until Karen carries a box up and sets it down gently in the middle of the room instead of against a wall.

Gretchen grabs the box to put it in the corner to figure out what to do with later since it’s in her walkway. It remains firmly planted on the ground.

She opens it to find a good portion of her books. She had her dad put it in her car and he struggled. Karen carried it like it was bedding.

Karen returns with another box, taking it to the kitchen. She walks back to Gretchen and stares into the open box with her, frowning slightly. “Did I put it in the wrong place, baby? I know we talked about books being in the living room so I figured drop it here for a little.”

Gretchen looks Karen over in awe. “Uh... Sorta. Can you put it near where the bookshelf is going instead of the middle of the walkway?”

“Ok.” Karen moves it effortlessly.

“When did you get so strong?” Gretchen asks before she can stop the words from tumbling out.

Karen shrugs. “Probably cheerleading. There’s a lot of lifting so I’m used to things heavier than that while looking like I don’t notice.”

Gretchen smiles sheepishly at her. “Could you pick me up?”

Karen grins. “Are you hinting at the fact that you want me to carry you now?” She folds her arms confidently, glancing her girlfriend up and down.

“Later because I know you’re starting this to stall unloading,” Gretchen replies, tapping Karen’s nose softly.

Karen groans immaturely. “I want to put together the bookcase or a desk or something,” she whines. She pouts at her. “And you are the one that distracted me.”

“Tell you what. You finish bringing up boxes, since I know there aren’t that many left to get anymore, I will unpack and organize everything while you set up our furniture, and then you get to pick where we get takeout from tonight for being such a trooper,” Gretchen offers, rubbing Karen’s biceps gently.

Karen rolls her eyes while grinning. “Fine. But this is only because I love you and you’re always so put together that it’s probably in both of our best interests that only you organize.”

“I’m not put together,” Gretchen says instinctively.

“You are to me.”

And, damn, the earnestness in her voice almost makes Gretchen believe it but she isn’t put together. Not in the slightest. She’s a mess and she’s shocked that Karen has yet to see it. All she does is tread water to keep from drowning under the weight of her expectations for herself.

Still, Karen doesn’t lie to her. Maybe she can see something that Gretchen can’t.

She sighs, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll take it. Now go. The faster you finish, the faster you can start building our dresser.”

Karen smiles, rocketing off to carry the last 10 or so boxes in. She tears into the Ikea package the moment she allowed to with the vigor of a 6-year-old child opening a gift on Christmas.

The sight of her getting so excited over something so lackluster makes Gretchen fall even harder. She shakes her head and starts sorting out silverware and plates.

And holy fuck. What the fuck has she gotten herself into?

She is hundreds of miles from the only life she’s ever known with someone that has yet to see her at her complete and total worst and now they’re stuck together in a lease so even if she does ruin this, Karen’s locked in and then she could resent her for making her stay.

What if this is the biggest mistake of her life and she pushes away the most important person in her life? What if she fails her classes and has to go home with her tail between her legs? What if she messes everything up? What if nothing will ever be same again?

She knows that those are the absolute worst-case scenarios that probably won’t happen but what if they do?

Her hands shake with every fork and spoon she puts away. Why is she letting this seep in now?

And, no matter what, things had to change. They’re growing and it needs to happen. She knows she needs to figure out her new normal but what if this normal isn’t the normal that she had hoped for?

Warm hands settle on her shoulders and the side of her head is kissed. “Time to come back to the real world,” Karen murmurs.

“How do you always know when to do that?”

Karen shrugs. “Can I show you something?”

Gretchen grins. “Of course, sweetie.”

“Awesome.” Karen swiftly scoops her into her arms. Gretchen screams, latching onto her neck tightly until she realizes how secure she is. She loosens her grip so she doesn’t choke her. Karen grins proudly. “See? I can pick you up.”

“You can.” Gretchen kisses her jaw softly. “How’s the dresser looking?”

“Done. I opened the box to the bookshelf but I wanted to check in on you before I started on that too. Also, I wanted to see if you were getting hungry. Because I am and there’s a Chinese place down the street if you are too.”

Gretchen chuckles. “Yes, I’m getting hungry.”

Karen set her down delicately and pulls her phone out of her vest pocket. “Great. Then I’m gonna call in our usual.”

“Fantastic.”

Karen pauses before she calls, looking Gretchen directly in the eyes. “And you’re doing a great job. I’d be struggling so hard to figure out what belongs where but this looks beautiful.”

“Thank you. Now call in our order, sweetie,” Gretchen giggles.

“Ok, ok. So bossy,” Karen teases.

They call it a night when their food gets there. They have all the necessary stuff pulled out and mostly sorted, plus Karen gets the bookshelf completed too. They have a few days to settle in. For tonight, they get to celebrate how far they’ve come.

***

Gretchen’s eyes open to view her apartment. A calm wave washes over her. The tv is still on, a documentary about penguins playing quietly in the background. She’s on her couch, surrounded by heat, a blanket over her shoulders, a thigh on either side of her hips, and a warm torso against her back.

“Get out, little man. C’mon. Go. Swim,” Karen mumbles softly, alarm clearly in her tone, her body tense, at the penguin being chased by leopard seal. A slow sigh is released followed by her body relaxing beneath Gretchen. “Good job.”

Karen’s absentminded hand runs through Gretchen’s hair tenderly. Gretchen smiles, shifting in wife’s arms to face her easier. She takes a deep breath and stretches out her legs, doing her best to not swoon when she meets her eyes. “I fell asleep, didn’t I?”

Karen’s full attention shifts to her instantly. Her head bobs a couple times in confirmation. “That’s ok though. You had a long day and I’m happy just to spend time with you,” she murmurs, tracing her cheek delicately.

“Even if I'm not conscious?”

Karen nods again as her hand returns to Gretchen’s head, scratching her scalp softly. “Your being here is soothing. It feels like certainty. Like not needing to look out the window right now because I know the moon will be there.”

Gretchen catches the pink creeping across her wife’s cheeks. She leans in and kisses her gently. Karen giggles giddily before reciprocating. “You’re such a softie,” Gretchen teases.

“And you are the most beautiful person I’ve even met.”

Screw how sore Gretchen will be tomorrow, she’s so ready to go back to sleep. She settles into her arms further, resting her cheek on Karen’s collar letting that conversation echo in her ears. There’s something so pure, so innocent, so genuine in her voice that Gretchen accepts it as fact.

Wait. She believes her. Like, full-heartedly, no doubt in her mind belief.

“You’re thinking,” Karen whispers.

“I am.”

“About what? What goes on in that wondrous mind of yours?”

Gretchen can hear the grin in her voice. She holds her hand out and Karen interlocks their finger. She runs her thumb over the thin silver band on her wife’s fourth finger. Her chest buzzes with adoration for her sticking it out with her this long, for promising her forever, for Karen, in general, being Karen.

“Do you remember that night that you tried to access my “subcontinental” mind?” Gretchen asks.

“God. I know it’s subconscious now, ok?”

“I know you know that. This is more about something else related to that night. Do you remember how I said I might believe it someday?”

“Yeah?”

“Pretty sure it’s today.”

Karen grins so brightly she puts the sun to shame. “That’s perfect. Just like you,” she says, kissing Gretchen’s cheek lovingly.

Gretchen smiles, leaning into the kiss. “I love you so much, sweetie.”

“I love you too, baby.” Karen wraps her arms around her shoulder, letting her fall back asleep.

She floats the same way she did the first night she let Karen hold her. A delightful haze tugs at her, reminding her of the rule of twos. Sleep pulls her away from Karen while being completely enveloped her and things are 2 separate ways at the same time and that is the best way they could possibly be.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: elphabuddy


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